What is the prime urge that fuels our sexuality as a species? Perhaps it is the biological imperative marketed to us by various historical viewpoints? I, for one, find this a tragic oversimplification of what is to me, the most beautiful and easily accessible mystery of the human experience.
When we market our sexuality as a biological function of procreation, housed in the necessity for long-term relationship, we do a few things to our already overstressed mental capacities. We:
* do not submit our self to the guidance of our feelings. We close our minds and bodies off to everything but ‘meaningful, biologically sustainable relationships’, often judging and ignoring ‘frivilous feel good’ connections (the much maligned ‘one night stands’) of the world.
* CREATE an illusion of dissatisfaction to answer our inborn curiousity around fulfillment. When we experience an intimate relationship with our bodies as satisfying, but are trained to associate sexual fulfillment with a binary relationship of two bodies, we must spend our own beautiful time SEARCHING, instead of satisfying. We have artificially created a desire for other to fulfill our longing for a satisfaction that is always sexually accessible!
* bias ourselves away from self-exploration. Since we are creatures that breed through sex, it must be someone else’s job to learn these systems, and to trigger them, right?
Practices of self sex and self love are available to us for the entirety of our journey as human beings. They are indwelling phenomena, travelling with us quietly where ever we go, subtly reminding us of their presence in playful, artful ways we can engage experientially.
This is not always the most popularly represented viewpoint though, and certain biases may have to be overcome to begin exploring what is truely happening at the self satisfying levels of experience.
When typed into Google, the query ‘Masturbation Resources’ brings up:
* four websites aimed at education and tutorials for masturbating
* four websites offering help and resources to ‘overcome’ masturbating (three directed from Christian resources, one from sex addiction)
* one study on orgasm outlets.
The only representation of spirituality or higher consciousness is the Christian proposition of ‘overcoming lust’. No resources are immediately offered to those wishing to explore spiritual connection and fulfillment through the act of self sex. We must, therefore, truely be our own way showers and light bringers in this sexploration!
For those looking to expand their capacity for pleasure and self satisfaction, I recommend a variety of approaches. First, one should commit to their own desire for experiencing self-created satisfaction. Sounds obvious, but there are still many who will commit to a two hour a day meditation practice, but won’t masturbate for 15 minutes a week. Prioritize.
If you want to connect with others while undertaking this journey, search your local or surrounding areas for workshops and business resources. Many sex shops and alternative health care venues are meeting the desire for education by bringing in skilled sex workers, therapists, and speakers to share techniques with clients hungry to get a head start. If there is nothing in your area yet, write an email to an appropriate venue asking if they would be interested in hosting someone. Many of the lessons of self satisfaction revolve around self initiative, and every lesson we commit to along the way brings us that much closer to mind-blowing orgasm, and connecting with the universe around us.
As a final thought, I am going to recommend a perusal of Chapter 20 of Barbara Marciniak’s wonderful book ‘Bringers of the Dawn’, (for all you interested light workers ;).
Blessed be you, and to all your forthcoming, mind expanding sexual self discovery…